Breathing is automatic
You breathe, on average, and without giving it a thought, between 10 and 20 times per minute in resting mode. Could you imagine if you had to remind yourself to breathe? You wouldn’t be able to think about anything else.
How we breathe
A muscle, the diaphragm, is placed underneath the lungs, where the lower ribs meet. When the muscle contracts, it pulls down on the lungs, which get bigger, sucking in air. When the diaphragm relaxes, the lungs shrink back, and the air is pushed out.
Picture it behind the solar plexus and how, when you breathe in, the diaphragm is lowered and pushes down on your intestines, which then press down on your pelvic floor. The inner pressure may affect more than just your lungs. Use a deep breath to feel your body. How does your chest and abdomen act as you breathe? Are you holding back or letting go? Do your shoulders lift? If they do, be conscious that it is the belly and ribs that should expand during inhalation.
THE DEEP BREATH
Breathe in deeply, so the entire diameter of the stomach is extended equally – i.e. both navel and ribs go out, but the sternum does not move. Feel how your body opens down into the pelvic floor when you inhale through the nose. When you breathe out, relax and let the air out either through your mouth or your nose and concentrate on relaxed jaws.
Time: It takes about 3-4 seconds to breathe in – hold it a second – and exhale. Exhaling takes a little longer, about 5 seconds. Hold for a second, pausing before repeating the exercise. Take three deep breaths. Try with exhaling through the mouth and the nose. What suits you the best?
Maybe those deep breaths can be used during intercourse. Imagine the cervix move slowly, rhythmically and obliging – a little like a jellyfish moving under water. Imagine the cervix pulsing in the vagina.
THE SHORTENED BREATHING
In times of stress, the body may shorten the length of your breath, not allowing your lungs to fill as much as they can. It is an unconscious process you don’t necessarily tell your body to start doing.