I HAVE BOWEL PROBLEMS

Bowel problems can be a complicated and challenging experience.  The intestines are very close to the female reproductive organs,  which explains being sexually active can be very hurtful.

Between the digestive system and the brain, large numbers of nerve signals are being sent back and forth over the course of a day.  These nerves stay busy, sending status messages to the brain to let it know what is going on. Some messages are computed and reacted to, while others are ignored and become lost in the background noise of nerve impulses. An irritated bowel will send tons of signals to the brain, resulting in feelings of discomfort and negative moods.

COPING WITH PROBLEMS

In addition to whatever treatment you and your doctor have agreed on for your bowel disorder, here are some things you can do to decrease your side effects and develop a safe and comfortable sex life:

  • Regular exercise and stretching often help relieve some of the discomforts of bowel disorders. Endorphins are released when you exercise, which can lessen the experience of pain. Find a sport that doesn’t cause you pain. It is meant to be a positive experience. Care of Muscles
  • Diet is a big subject. Find someone you trust, who can help you and consider how or whether it works for you.
  • Relaxation techniques and meditation can help cope with the painful sensations. Read more in our section,  Breathing.

Possible effects on your body deriving from bowel issues:

  • Skin in the vulva area: If you have skin problems that do not require medical treatment, a barrier balm or cream will protect your skin from outer friction, plus keep skin moist and soft. Care of Skin  
  • Muscle: Pain tends to make us clinch the muscles, especially in our jaws, shoulders, neck, and pelvic floor. It is essential to focus on not tensing our muscles, to ensure the good blood circulation. Read more on Care of Muscles,  Care of Muscle KnotsBreathing
  • Lubrication: The mere thought of painful sexual intercourse can dry out most women. If you suffer from lubrication problems, we recommend finding an artificial lubricant that works for you. Read more about Poor Lubrication
  • Maintaining a healthy level of stress provides the best possible environment for the bowel and for the good bacteria that live in the digestive tract.  Everybody needs a little stress in their lives, not all stress is bad! When it becomes too severe, though, it can negatively impact the good bacteria and leave room for the harmful ones
  • Work on your negative feelingsSeeing a therapist can help you talk about your concerns and emotions. Their job is to support you in finding a meaningful mental state. Support groups exist to give sufferers a community and help to cope.  These groups often consist of people experiencing very similar symptoms and effects to yours.

Living with a bowel disorder

Work or school often takes up much of our day. If you feel inhibited in this, you might put off your troubles or be frustrated that this time of day is not working for you.

You might want to consider these tips before leaving the house. 

  • Give yourself time to prepare. Get up with enough time to get ready, especially if you have bowel concerns in the morning.
  • Consider telling a trusted college about your problems. He or she can be a source of support when it comes to your symptoms. 
  • Move. If you sit still most of the day, make sure to take breaks to move. Doing some breaks for stretches will be good for you.
  • Stretch. If you cannot get moving during the work or school, make sure to stretch or exercise at home.

Sex & Bowel Issues

Single 

Maintaining a private sex life holds numerous benefits. Pleasuring yourself might provide a brief relief to stress, improve your self-image, and offer insight into your body and your desires.

Maintenance might be a bit more difficult to remember on your own. Why not put sexual pleasure on the calendar? The more you know about what turns you on, and what feels right to you, the more you will enjoy sexual activity. And if you someday decide to enter into a sexual encounter, you will be better equipped knowing yourself.

Having bowel issues might not be the easiest to tell a casual sex partner or a future partner, but if you take no chances, you gain nothing. Remember, lots of women have wonderful sexual partners regardless of their bowel problems.

Sure, sex in your situation isn’t always the most straightforward endeavour. You may be nervous about what might happen – pain, flare-ups … Try to think the situation through before you go there. How would you like to handle the situation? You could consider

  • “This hurts. Come – I’ll use my hands.”
  • “Let’s take a shower.”
  • Having a bathroom or a towel close by.

If you are open about your bowel issues with yourself and the people around you, you have the opportunity to let them know how you are feeling. It takes some practice to get used to talking about private issues.

Relationship

Listen to your body and your partner. Do not push yourself to have sex when you are having a bad day. However, remember to take advantage of the good days! Try and talk through your concerns regarding your personal “worst case scenario” with your partner.  Talk about the possible complications that could show up during sex.  Voice your expectations about how you hope to react, and how you wish your partner will respond if you do encounter problems. What if penetration causes pain? Do you feel that you can voice this to your partner?  Talk about modifying positions if the pain is an issue. How about changing to pleasuring each other with your hands/mouths?

Be flexible and communicate. You and your partner are not minded readers. Voice your concerns and listen to what your partner has to say. Where do you experience your pain during sex? Is it outside or inside of the vagina? Is it stinging, aching, or sharp pains? Keep the answers to these questions in mind so you can find sexual activities that don’t aggravate your pains.

Read As a Couple

Tips N’ Tricks

Be a Pelvic floor goddess. If you suspect your muscles be cramped, tense and living their own lives, try and learn to take charge of your muscles. If they are tense, focus on being a master of relaxing and letting go. Make stickers: ” Are they truly relaxed?” and place them all on your daily route. Read Care of Pelvic Muscles

If you have skin issues, be sure to take care of them. Friction from sexual acts on the delicate or irritated skin can worsen the condition. Use lubricants during sex and put balm or cream on the problem areas (if approved by your doctor).(Props & Pearls recommends) Read Poor Lubrication

Some women report experiencing nausea or vomiting after sex. Your bowel issue could explain the reaction or seen as a reaction to a stressful or anxiety-provoking situation.  In this case, think of it as a form of stage fright. It is a way for your body to reserve energy since it knows that you will not be able to digest what is inside of you appropriately. The body’s rationale is: get rid of it. By causing nausea, diarrhoea or vomit prevent you from eating.

Experiment with different sex positions to make it as comfortable as possible for you and a partner. Put your hands in between the two of you to make penetration more shallow.  Maybe engage in lots of foreplay! Arousal from foreplay brings you closer to orgasm or closure, so if sex usually gets painful after a while, this is a way to shorten the actual intercourse. If medication is a concern, try to make sure that sex does not interfere with dosage timing.  It may mean having sex during the afternoon or in the morning. Nighttime isn’t the only time to have sex.

Get inspiration from The Love Bit.

Other common concerns:

“I’m way too tired.” 

Accommodate sexual interactions.  Maybe the morning or the afternoon is a better time for you to have a little sexual activity! Make sure to see a doctor if your fatigue is severe.  It could be possible that there is a cause for your tiredness. It could be you lack a mineral or a vitamin.

“My medication ruins everything.” 

Local treatment in the colon is often recommended at night, and of course, you can wait until just before you go to sleep. Do you still fell medicine is conflicting with sex, change when you have your sexual activity?  Try a time that doesn’t conflict with your medication schedule.

“I don’t feel attractive.”   

Buy a super hot open bottom girdle or corselet or what makes you feel foxy. Do things that make you feel desirable and attractive.

Do read the section Care for Bowel