I HAVE POST-SURGERY NUISANCES
Side effects from surgeries can be frustrating to cope with, mainly because your issues may not be visible on the outside. With today’s minimally invasive procedures, you may barely even have scars after a procedure. You might feel like you are making a big deal out of nothing. That is not the case. Developing a sex life that accounts for your post-surgery issues can be a daunting task, but worth trying.
A LITTEL HELP ALONG THE WAY
LUBRICATION
If you can’t produce it yourself, buy some! Use a silicone lubricant. It will decrease friction and lessen discomfort. (Props & Pearls recommends) Don’t forget to be properly excited before penetration, as well. Hands/ mouths can be used with success. Read Poor Lubrication
PELVIC, ABDOMINAL AND VAGNINAL PAIN
Find the cause of your pain. Is it scar tissue or adhesions? Tight muscles, muscle knots, sensitive nerves or involuntary muscle contractions (vaginismus)? Manipulating the skin and muscles can help getting nerves accustomed, stretching and softening the skin and tissue. Read Manage. If the pain is set off by deep penetration, read: When Deep Penetration Hurts
VAGINAL DILATING
Gradual widening and patience are essential when it comes to coping with symptoms. Dilators can be used to help make the tissue supple and may allow you to regain the ability for penetrative sexual activity. (Props & Pearls recommends) Read Use of Dilator
EASE THE SKIN
Mild over the counter pain relievers can be taken before sexual activity to help dull the pain. If the vulva or skin scars, use a balm to massage, stretch, desensitize (lessen the sensitive) the area (Props & Pearls recommends) Remember to use positions that are the least uncomfortable for you.
INCONTINENCE
Kegel exercises are great for increasing the strengths in your pelvic floor muscles and give you greater control. (Props & Pearls recommends) Read Care of pelvic Muscles See a doctor or a physiotherapist to find the root of the problem.
SEX & POST SURGERY
First and foremost, know your boundaries. Be aware of what you can and cannot do physically. Voice these concerns and tell yourself that your health and comfort is essential and needs to be considered.
SINGLE
Where are these boundaries? If you don’t know where they are, you need to experiment to see what does and doesn’t feel right. If you feel pain: Where is it located? At what amount of pressure?
Keep your hotline open between brain and womb. Sex with yourself keeps your nerves on the go, your lust awakens, and your body gets all the benefits from pleasure. Read The Love Bit of inspiration.
If you have a one night stand, you don’t necessarily have to talk about your surgery, but you can tell them that you are sensitive or have some issues. Explain enough so they can understand that some discretion has to be in place when it comes to your sex life. If penetration isn’t an option for you, find other things that ignite your passionate side – maybe by increasing your intimate touching. Read Penetration has no veto power
RELATIONSHIP
Talk to your partner about the feelings that accompany your physical symptoms. Let them know what is on your mind. If you have outer scar tissue causing you trouble, learn how to touch it. Is soft touching okay? How hard can you press on the area without causing pain? Try to find the right touching together- it is a good experience to highlight the limits and the prospects. Two brains sometimes work better than one.
When the terms of scar tissue are shared, surgery complications can more easily be explained to your partner. Discuss the options you have to change your sex life for the better. It could include different positions, a stronger focus on intimate touching, maybe no touching in a particularly sensitive area. Read The Love Bit of inspiration
TIPS’N’TRICKS
Do not have sex in positions that make you uncomfortable or cause pain. You risk causing vaginismus. Speak up when something does not feel right. Focus on voicing what feels right. Penetration and orgasm are not the only goals for sexual activity. Enjoy each other by different means. Use hands/mouths, and explore each other’s bodies. Penetration, if possible, can make up a small part of your sexual activity. Remember it’s all about enjoying yourself and each other.
LOSS OF SEX DRIVE
Communication is key. Talk to your doctor, your possible partner, and maybe even a therapist.
Get inspired by The Love Bit