smerte ved sex


Your muscles are an essential part of your body, its well-being, and capacity.

Optimal muscles are flexible, and their fibres can stretch and contract. You will get the right length and strength through exercises. 

Try to visualise your pelvis as free-floating. Imagine that you are adding muscles as rubber bands to hold it in its place. When one rubber band is short, the pelvis will tilt. The weight of the torso will be centred mainly on one side instead of in the middle. If crooked, it can inflict pain in the pelvic floor. Pain can trigger further tension because the body protects or attempts to stabilise the area by tightening the muscles around the source.

The stretching program’s goal is to teach you about the state of your muscles.

The work requires that you do daily work. Do exercises that contract and stretch the muscles. Work with them intentionally, and use them to their limits.


3 muscles often trigger sexual muscle-triggered pain. 

The three muscles are:  

Ilio-psoas muscles consist of 2 muscles located close to the spine of the lower back, through the inside of your hip and down to the femur. Without them, you can’t wend your lower back or bend your hip, whichever is the fixed point. In addition, they stabilize the joints between the spine, hip and femur. They can if thight cause pain in the groin, lower back, inside and infront of the thigh and cause you pain during and after sex or cause pain inside the vagina and out to the side.  

The internal obturator muscle also named the secretary muscle rotates the leg out and extends the hip. If the muscles are tight, the pain might be placed on the pubic bone. It can hurt to rotate legs out, spread legs, get up and sit down.  

The pelvic floor muscles situated between the tailbone and genital area can, if tight, cause pain in that area and around the tailbone. They can narrow the vaginal diameter. It almost feels as if there is a wall inside the vagina. If they are constantly tight, it can be difficult empty the bladder and bowel completly. 

Go through your body. Note which muscles you think will be the right to focus on. You will typically find two exercises for each group choose the one that you and your doctor think suits you the best.


Find muscles that are constricted, and then really work with them. Stretch the muscle, shake it loose in the sense that you let the muscle move as it feels like. Stretch again. Imagine that blood has just circulated and cleaned the area. Try to activate muscle a bit before you stretch again. Use the let go exhalation.

These are general exercises. Before you get started, talk through with your doctor what is required for your individual needs.

The “let go” exhalation

“Let go” is a mental exhaling exercise where the brain is programmed to send a release message to tight muscles, i.e. the pelvic floor.

Letting go in the pelvic floor is recognised as the feeling of going to the loo to allow waste passage through the urethra or rectum. Take your first breath, and as you breathe in slowly and calmly, imagine how the intestines and other organs calmly weigh down on the tense pelvic floor, relaxing and stretching it. Releasing the air, you say to yourself “let go” and focus on your pelvic floor. Repeat. You might try this exercise standing, sitting, and lying down, and reflect on what is best for you.

Read Breathing

Use the “let go” exhalation in all exercises.


Shake it loose

Shake your body and loosen it up a bit – no plans. Get the blood flowing.

Put something on the floor in front of you – a book, a sock, anything. Bend your knees, lean forward and pick it up with both hands. Straighten up using your lower abs to hold your pelvis upright. Pick up your object 15 times.

Draw circles with your hips. Remember to move hips clockwise and counterclockwise. Notice if you have lopholes.


Sit on the edge of your seat with a straight torso and your legs bent at 90 degrees or a little more. Stretch left leg back under the chair until the groin is stretched. Make the stretch stronger by using the lower abdominal muscles to lift your pubic bone and point left knee towards the floor. Keep for 10 seconds using “let go”. Repeat. Now, stretch the right leg.

Strech of hip muscle
Stretch of hip muscle

Alternative 1:

Stand with left leg in front and right leg back – legs far apart – your weight on the right leg. Pull the pubic bone up toward the navel slightly. Hold position. Bend your left knee. The knee should not go beyond the toes. Keep the weight on your right leg. Feel the stretch on the right-hand side of your groin. To gain a deeper stretch set your left foot slightly more forward and hold it for 10 seconds. Use “let go”. Switch legs and repeat. 

Alternative 2:

Support to balance. Stand with feet 5-10 cm apart. Lift both heels 2-4 cm from the ground. Feel the weight centred. Lower left heel to the ground. Feel the stretch on the right side. Repeat on the other side.


Sit straight on a chair with your legs bent at 90 degrees or more. Sit with your back straight. Extend left leg so your heel is on the ground and your toes point upwards. With your back straight, lean slightly forwards. Feel your pelvis push backwards. Feel the stretch in the back of the left leg, close to your seat. Think that you are pulling your pelvis away from the knee. Do not overstretch your knee. Keep this stretch for 10 seconds, using “let go”. Repeat. Put left leg back next to your right leg. Now complete the stretch with right leg.

Alternative exercise:

Stand at a table. Bend forward and place your elbows on the surface. Lift your tailbone gently up towards the ceiling. You can add a light sway in the lower back. Hold the stretch for two deep breaths. Round your lower back and pelvis before lifting the tailbone. The stretch can be amplified by gently bending and stretching your knees in slow motion or shifting your weight forth and back. Remember “the let go”.

An alternative exercise – for the visual readers:



Sit on a chair with a straight back. Put your feet on the floor, wide apart. Knees over toes. Lean forward with a straight back, feeling your sitting bones tilt backwards. Keep this stretch while doing a couple of “let go”‘s. Shake your body and do another long stretch.

Alternative exercise:

Sit on the floor, up against a wall to support the back. Bend your legs and place the soles of your feet together, letting your arms rest on your legs, so your knees are lowered towards the floor. Sit on top of your pelvis and lean slightly forward with a straight back. Keep this stretch and make a few “let go”‘s. Shake your legs before taking another long stretch.

An alternative exercise – for the visual readers:


An alternative exercise – for the visual readers:



Sit on a chair with your back straight and your legs bent at 90 degrees or more. Position your left ankle on top of your right knee. Maintain uniform pressure on both sides of the pelvis and keep a straight back. You will feel the stretch in the back of your hip joint and on the side of your left leg. Make a few “let go”-breaths. Shake loose. Do the same stretch with the right ankle on your left knee. If you want a more in-depth stretch, lean forward with your back straight.

Alternative 1:

Lie on your back with both legs straight. Pull your left knee up to your chest. Put your hands around the knee and gently pull it. Keep this stretch and take a few “let go” breaths, before switching to the right-hand side.

Alternative 2:

Lie on your back with both legs bent and both feet on the floor. Rest your left ankle on the right thigh or knee. Take hold of your right thigh and lift it slowly and gently up towards your chest. The stretch should be felt in the left buttock and hip region. If you want to increase the stretch, gently push left knee with the left hand. Do a “let go” before giving it an extra turn. Repeat with right leg.

An alternative exercise – for the visual readers:



Sit on a chair with legs bent at 90 degrees or more. Equally, distribute your weight in your pelvis. Put your left arm over your head. Put your right arm overhead and place your right hand on the left forearm. With the left shoulder positioned over your left hip – bend sideways to the right. Make sure that your weight does not end up on one side of the pelvis! The weight must be evenly distributed to feel the stretch. Take two deep breaths. Move the body back to the middle and continue the stretch, bending to the left. Then opposite again for another round.

An alternative:

Sit on your knees and lean your upper body forward, with your arms stretched in front of you, as in prayer position. Walk your hands slowly to the left and let your upper body follow into a sort of side bend. Distribute weight equally. Lift your right shoulder towards the ceiling. Feel the stretch on the right-hand side. “Let go”. Move the body back in the middle, do a few “let go”‘s. Repeat the stretch, now bending to the right.

An alternative exercise – for the visual readers:



Try all exercises and consider which does the trick. If you have week knees or hips, avoid exercises not good for you. Read Care of Pelvic Muscles

  1. Place feet apart, toes pointing outwards. Squat, gently lift tailbone and lean forward. Sit as if you were defaecating in nature. Remember to keep the spine long and straight. Exercise is hard on knees, hips and if you have a weak pelvic floor.
  2. Squats. Place the feet in a broad position, toes pointing outward and squat. Pull tailbone gently back slightly, and lean forwards, tailbone lifted somewhat backwards, and up. You sit as you would attend to in nature. It is essential that the tailbone is not pulled under you, think of the long back.  Do not pratice if you have a prolapse, weak pelvic floor, hips or knees. Do not do any exercises that feel constraining.
  3. Stand on knees and elbows. Place your knees broad standing and lower legs relaxed, elbows just below the shoulders. Think tailbone slightly up toward the ceiling and lean back. Do not sway so hard you get a sore back. Eventually, you relax in the back and lean back the tailbone against your heels – forehead to the floor. Relax and breathe in feeling it in the lower back.
  4. Lie on your back with your bent legs and put your feet up against the wall at a 90-degree angle. Notice the lumbar region on the floor. Now put your left ankle on the right thigh, just above the knee. To intensify the stretch, gently push the right knee towards the wall to increase the stretch at the back of the leg.
  5. Lie on your back with your legs up against the wall, the feet met, and knees point to the side. Do a couple of “let go”s.
  6. Sit cross-legged. Lean forward over your legs with a long back straight. Place your hands on the floor in front of you with straight arms. Lift the tailbone gently towards the ceiling. Rest in the position for 15 sec. Switch legs.
  7. Kneeling (payers position), with knees apart, lean your upper body forward and put your elbows on the floor. Do some “let go”‘s.
  8. Lie on your back lift the knees towards the chest and let them move out to the side, so they are spread. Use your hands to hold the leg in place – e.g. holding onto the ankle or calf. Do “let go”‘s. Visualize that you widen the space between your seat nodes. Collect your knees, pull them gently to your chest, and do a few “let go”‘s. 


Short, tight, and inflexible muscles must be softened, used and stretched.  

Exercise daily. Find the name of the muscles you need to work with, Google how they are built, think of exercises where you can shorten them in the fibre length, and where they can be stretched.

A muscle that needs to be worked with will benefit from good daily blood circulation, from stretching and raised awareness. If you need to add extra to your exercises, working with an elastic band can progress your aim.

Tip: If you work is sedentary: set a timer and every third hour and do some moving around. That would benefit your problem area.