The Love Bit gives information about why and how sex is or can be beneficial for us.
This is also where you can find tips and inspiration if you have pain during sex and want to build up a new and rewarding sex life.
Enjoy this chapter.
When either deep penetration or penetration in general is painful We hope you will find information, inspiration and instruction for when deep penetration hurts or if you need to be close with no penetration.
These pages are for you who live in a relationship. You’ll find a document for you both. It can be used as inspiration for a conversation. A section concerns ideas to help find each other’s erogenous zones, and finally, there’s a brief bit for the partner.
Pain caused by deep penetration can be related to a range of issues: tilted uterus, endometriosis, bowel problems, interstitial cystitis, cysts, fibroids, scar tissue, shortened vagina, hysterectomy i.e. If you don’t know what causes your pain, your doctor will if possible help you get a diagnosis. You may find help in Seeing the Doctor. Tracing my … Continue reading WHEN DEEP PENETRATION HURTS
THE GRIEF, LONGING, LOSS AND SHAME A dark title for this corner of the website – but it is what we so often are told. The processing works in phases. Do not expect to see the big picture from the start. Give yourself time and room to get to terms with your new situation and … Continue reading THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM
Pleasure is experienced subjectively. What leads to pleasure for one person does not necessarily cause the same response in someone else. When you receive a stimulus, nerves deliver messages to the brain. It releases chemical substances bound to the message. These substances are a kind of chemical gift bags to the brain. The messages are released when, for … Continue reading THE ROAD TO PLEASURE
Find pleasure in the ordinary rather than chasing the extraordinary You can choose to focus on the stimuli and sensations you are experiencing instead of trying to chase down pleasure. It is a bit like baking a cake. The cake will not be great if you tell yourself it will be so. Instead, you need to focus … Continue reading STIMULATION AND SENSATION
Reproduction is a primordial instinct. We are hardwired with a predisposition towards sex because instincts of survival and reproduction drive us. The driving force in human nature is the desire for reward. The reward, in this case, is the pleasure. Pleasure is a manifestation of the brain’s reward – the sum of parts we consider … Continue reading WHY DO WE HAVE SEX
It is good to know and appreciate all the individual phases of your sexual response cycle. The cycle is described here as lust, excitement, and orgasmic phases. When Love Hurts find that it is not a matter of two steps (lust, excitement) to reach the goal (orgasm). But a cycle of three plateaus, each being … Continue reading Test Your Sexual Perception
Animals and humans respond in one of three ways when exposed to an immediate danger. One is to act. It may be to flee – take to their feet and run away. However, that is not always, how we react. Perhaps our subconscious evaluates the threat and decides it is not worth the effort and we … Continue reading FROZEN IN THE MOMENT
Sexual boundaries might be things like “I don’t have one-night stands” or “I insist on using condoms” or “Don’t touch my butthole, please.” All of these and all other boundaries are important in ensuring our safety and comfort in the bedroom. But it isn’t always enough – or easy for that matter – to say … Continue reading ESTABILISHING BOUNDARIES
WHO ARE YOU AND WHO AM I? If you are in a relationship, it can be difficult to put into words what you want sexually, or what you experience as nice and not so nice. The following should make it easier for you to verbalize “likes” and “dislikes”. MAPPING OF YOUR BODYS’ EROGENOUS ZONES Both … Continue reading U & I
Who am I? Perhaps you already know what gives you sexual pleasure, but you might still be surprised. Sex and pleasure are about continuously being curious and willing to play. Mapping of stimulation points Print this map of your body. Mark numbers on the body map: + where you like to be touched in what … Continue reading FIND YOURSELF
Even after your pain subsides, it may take some time and experiment to find and develop your new sense of sexuality. Or maybe you will find out you won’t bother having sex. The last decision is very understandable. But make sure it is for the right reason. It might be tough going back to being … Continue reading WHEN PAIN HAS GONE
Being intimate and sexually active is very much the glue in a relationship. It is essential to maintain, refine, invest, and find a solution that matches both of your needs, desires, and wishes. As a couple, you might have different definitions of what is pleasurable in a sexual encounter and what it gives you. Although … Continue reading To Share