If you have lost the ability to have sex. The change might make you wonder if sex needs to be a part of your future life if penetration is no longer an option.


Maybe you have heard that the blind has a better hearing. One sense takes over from another. It even seems as if the area in the brain allocated to sense does not shut down when it vanishes. One would think that if you are deaf, the field for hearing in the brain will shut down, but instead, it apparently supports touch and vision. Maybe it is not so different when it comes to feeling pleasure from sex. If one erogenous zone is being removed, it might leave room for another zone to grow and glow. If penetration is a no-go, and you feel open to working with it, then body and brain might be able to find new ways. The feeling might not be the same, but that doesn’t mean that it cannot be fulfilling.


A narrow sexual path being transformed into a 4-lane highway is a process.

Consider this: I am right-handed. I think my right-hand takes up more space in my brain than my left hand. The right hand can do things my left hand wouldn’t even dream of. But what if my right hand was taken away and I had to use my left hand, it would take up more space – perhaps – not overnight but with training and pushing the limits.

Sexual pleasure might not be the same again. But you may be able to create new combinations. If you think of it, sexual pleasure is about tensing, culminating and letting go. Nerve messages are build up and transformed into a feeling of peak and resolution.

The 6-8000 nerves in the clitoris, all meant to give pleasure, might have been taken out of the equation. What other factors can then be added to the mix?

  • Touch of other erogenous zones (Read Find Yourself)
  • The use of deep breathing, spreading all the way down to the pelvic and at the right time getting shorter and faster Read Breathing 
  • Use pelvic muscles to play with your pleasure. When you have an orgasm, the muscles will contract. Consider copying an orgasm by rhythmically and vibrantly using your pelvic muscles. 

It will require work – you might call it an investment – to build up a love life on these or other elements. But isn’t it worth it? Get inspiration from The Love Bit to why. Remember to enjoy the journey. Get some tickling feathers to play with, silk and lace to cling to your body. Maybe a vibrator can kick some life into those new zones. (Props & Pearls recommends

Please put yourself on the Pedestal

This journey will be a lot easier if you really dig yourself.

     Do you find yourself sexy and gorgious? You should!

Some need to start bragging to themselves about how irresistible they are. Is there something you like: your smell, your ankles? … give them your full attention and let them serve your pleasure.

If you have someone close, ask them to tell whenever they find you attractive. You need to feel like a goddess on earth. We are not sure the goddesses had penetrative sex, they were too celestial for that.

From this point, introduce new norms and new standards. Penetrative sex was wonderful, but that doesn’t mean there are not thousands of other ways to have enjoyable sex. Be playful, be inventive, and get inspired. 

In practice

the illusion of penetration

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