Pain caused by deep penetration can be related to a range of issues: tilted uterus, endometriosis, bowel problems, interstitial cystitis, cysts, fibroids, scar tissue, shortened vagina, hysterectomy i.e.
Some women experience such an intense pain that they no longer want sex with penetration. It is quite natural and very understandable. Sex can be fun and be giving without it. If you don’t have a satisfying alternative, you may find inspiration in The Love Bit. Read Penetration has no veto power and Stimulation & Sensation
Others cannot imagine a sex life without penetration. They miss the feeling of being that close to a partner, to feel him inside, or they genuinely do not think sex is meaningful without penetration. If you experience a longing, you might benefit from reading The Elephant in the Room or read about the Painbuffer.
WORTH A TRY?
First of all, ensure you feel sufficient desire and lubrication. It is not uncommon that glands due to fear of pain stop producing lubrication. Leading to even more pain.
Sexual positions you can try:
- Sit astride your partner, leaning slightly forward. This way you ensure penetration is neither too deep or too hard
- Missionary position, but with legs closer together, ensuring penetration is not that deep
- Lie in a spoon position. Your partner penetrates you from behind. With one hand on his hip, it is possible for you to move away if pain occurs.
- Use of PainBuffer. The aid is placed over your partner’s penis, making a buffer between the two of you.
- Place one or two hands around the vagina to create a buffer and avoid deep penetration or use PainBuffer
- Try if it can be good for you both that you squeeze and relax around your partner’s penis to make a more shallow contact and thereby lessen his desire to go deeper
- Be creative and look for inspiration