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STIMULATION AND SENSATION

Find pleasure in the ordinary rather than chasing the extraordinary

You can choose to focus on the stimuli and sensations you are experiencing instead of trying to chase down pleasure. It is a bit like baking a cake. The cake will not be great if you tell yourself it will be so. Instead, you need to focus on using the right ingredients. You must combine the things you appreciate and mix them in a specific order and the right amount. Then your cake will be amazing to you.

If your focus remains on the process rather than the outcome, you are much more likely to achieve successful sexual pleasure.

VARIATION

Pleasure thrives on variety

Even the best song may become boring if it is heard repeatedly. The same goes for sexual pleasure. It does not mean that your partner must be replaced! Instead, the variation may be in the stimulation of the senses: fragrance, clothing, surroundings, your language to each other, the music, the sequence of touch, etc.

Train yourself to appreciate different stimuli and sensations. An excellent way to start is to find everyday things that bring you enjoyment.

AMPLIFY THE DAILY JOY

Focus on what makes you feel good. Appreciate how you are affected by certain things and express it to your friends, family and partner. Some enjoy noting daily what pleases them to support and cultivate their attention.

DOES SOCIAL INTERACTION MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Are you a social person who enjoys the company of people?

You can add enjoyment to your daily routine by recognising the joy of receiving a smile or a random, everyday flirt. Appreciate your interactions with those close to you and let them know how much you enjoy their company. When you tell them that their company makes you happy.

DOES AESTHETICS MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Do you love your sense of sight?

Maybe you find enjoyment in beautiful colours, designs, or specific colour combinations. You can take notice of the beauty in everyday life and become more enthusiastic about the world around you. If you allow yourself to bask in what makes you happy, those things will take up more space in your consciousness. This will enable you to let the joy of little things come to your consciousness. The majestic nature of the ordinary world.

Beauty is everywhere – charge yourself with joy.

DOES physical-ACTIVITY MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Does it make you happy to feel and use your body?

Maybe the experience of using your body and feeling your strength brings you happiness. If this is the case, then indulge in how wonderful your body can be. Enhance your experience by telling yourself and others how great you think it is. Another example of people who enjoy sensory pleasure is those who like physical contact with others. Maybe you’re the kind of person who loves to hug or holding hands.

Do you feel the urge to touch others while talking to them, just to reinforce your connection? If so, indulge in it! As long as those you are touching enjoy it as well, physical touch in everyday life can be a comforting and pleasant experience.  

Your Body is right there. Use it and Enjoy it.

FROM DAILY ENJOYMENT TO SEXUAL PLEASURE

In daily enjoyment training, you focus on the importance of choosing the right stimuli and sensations that make you feel good and make you happy. You may learn to appreciate the enjoyable things around you and how to pinpoint your focus on them.

The experience of exercising daily joy is very similar to the process of focusing on the right sexual stimuli in regards to sexual pleasure. If you train your brain to seek out and revel in positive stimuli, it is to be expected that your mind will be asking you for more nice experiences. A bit like chocolate at 8 o’clock for some.

  • Are there elements in your daily quest for joy, that you can transfer into your pursuit of intensifying good sexual stimuli?
  • What do you find as positive sexual stimuli: touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste or … ?
  • Everyday stimuli making you happy are they similar to the ones you find pleasure in?
  • How do you like to experience the sexual stimuli?

You have to consider: how can you build on your common knowledge of joy to spark sexual stimulation and sensation. Do you love being social? If so, focus on the things that excite you, flirt. If you’re a person who thrives on aesthetics, take time to make yourself feel beautiful. Make sure you are comfortable and create an air of setting for you to become immersed in. Surround yourself with things you find aesthetically sexual pleasing. 

Are you single? Whether you are or not, getting to know yourself on your own is a great opportunity! Use your brain to engage in imaginative play! When pleasuring yourself, put on music that makes you feel sexy and use your imagination to get yourself mentally aroused. Solo sexual experiences can be so much more than you and your hand, you can focus on receiving pleasure, and downplay giving it. Make use of toys, scents, different lighting, or different places in the home to find what sparks your desire most. EMPHASIZE THE GOOD STUFF

Once you find the sensations you enjoy, make sure you incorporate them into your sexual play. When you sense stimuli you like, focus on them and put them in a positive light. This positive vote brings them further into your consciousness and reinforces the idea that this sensation is one you enjoy and crave more of. Focusing on the positive experience of a sensation also occupies more of your mental space and leaves less of a possibility for you to think of other things that may interfere with your enjoyment. Avoid the action that triggered the jolt of negativity and keeps your focus on the positive things.

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IT’S ALL A BALANCING ACT

Sexual pain and uncomfortable moments are possible and can happen to anyone. This does not mean that you need to shut down and avoid sexual experimentation and activities altogether. If you halt at discomfort or pain, you will not move on and explore new things. If you stop, it might mean that next time you attempt that sexual activity, your body will automatically think that the negative experience you had is inevitably going to happen again. This is the kind of conditioned reflex you want to avoid. Try instead in case of pain to take a deep breath, expire and tell yourself to let go, and naturally change your actions to one that brings you comfort, enjoyment, and no pain. Do something nice, cuddle and kiss if you are two. This way, you avoid pain and stop the development of a negative reflex, and still get to enjoy yourself. This is a balancing act where you take care of yourself, are curious, and, of course, do not expose yourself to unnecessary pain.

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